"Goddamn, Subway is crowded!"

So, earlier today, or rather yesterday, I went to Subway for lunch, cuz y’know, it’s all about those *five! five dollar, five dollar footlooooooooongs*. Anyway, I went with my sister/sandwich buddy, Liz, to get that hot SWEET ONION CHICKEN TERIYAKI #FTW#. We got there early, the line was short and I was up to order in like two minutes flat. First, there was this group of girls in front of me, maybe about four. The first two girls order and when the girl who’s handling bread/meat/cheese acknowledges me, I figured the other two were just hanging out in line. But wait!, when I start to place my order, the girl in front of me barks out that she was there first. She wasn’t exactly hostile, she said this with a smile, but she wasn’t exactly friendly either. The bread/meat/cheese girl apologizes, but the girl who barked let me go ahead of her anyway. So, I restart my order, telling her I want that hot SWEET ONION CHICKEN TERIYAKI #FTW# on—she interrupts me to say that they only have one pack of chicken teriyaki, not enough for a footlong. I’m like, “How in the hell can you be out of sandwich stuff when the lunch rush is starting literally five seconds from now?” So, I had to get out of line and confer with my sandwich buddy, Liz, so’s we could pick a new sandwich to split. It really sucked cuz the chicken teriyaki is all we ever get, and the only thing worth getting, really. We end up rolling with the oven roasted chicken breast, which is really just a nice, tasty-sounding name for that nasty processed chicken that comes with the pressed on grill marks. After getting back in line, which had lengthened triple the size when I left, I ordered that. The lady ripped the bread a bit when she put the chicken things on it, too. #oh, gee whiz#
The saving grace of this Subway adventure was when I got to the veggie counter. The girl working that section, as my mother would say, was “drunk as a skunk!” Ok, maybe she wasn’t, maybe she was sleepy, but we did come off a five day weekend at WSU, so I’m guessing she had a good holiday Thursday through Monday and is now struggling on a hung over Tuesday. She would take the sandwich out of the toaster that belonged to the person behind the customer who was supposed to be getting served first, and for some reason put theirs in front of the sandwich of the first customer, basically doing them out of order. What really made me think she was drunk was the way she put the vegetables on the sandwich, so strung and drug out. It got hard to list all the stuff I wanted when I found myself fighting laughter. Is working at Subway that bad that you gotta get wasted before you come in at 11:30 AM? What really sealed that hung over theory was her blasé pace, slurry hooded eyes, and how she wrapped the sandwich and damn near wrestled it into the bag, putting it on the counter as if to say, “I’m too shitfaced for this shit.”
Saying all of that, the sandwich was not that bad, but it was no SWEET ONION CHICKEN TERIYAKI #FTW#. Maybe the next time I go in there, which will definitely be awhile, they’ll have it in stock and everyone will be in a good enough mood where they won’t have to come in *BLIZTED*!