I watch people, it's kind of a thing I've been doing for years. They're very fascinating. It might seem weird to say it like that, but people are unpredictably predictable. So, of course I love to read other people's blogs. Instead of me wondering what someone's thinking, all I have to do is read their thoughts, via their blog. However, most of those blogs, with people writing about their shitty ass day, not my cup of tea. But, most of the time, I do come across some very interesting blogs.
Few weeks ago, I came across a blog, The Beautiful Kind. I should warn you, this blog has some pretty far-out there sexual proclivities that the faint of heart might not be able to take. Like, for real, you don't have to go through that many posts to see what I mean. When I started reading it, I thought it was a gay guy at first, but then found it was a woman, which disappointed me somewhat.
I dunno, I usually don't like to hear about women talking about their outrageous sex lives #or really anyone, for that matter# but I find that I can tolerate it more if I hear it from a gay man. I dunno, I'm weird that way. I have no problem with a woman asserting her strong sexuality, but usually it's being used to cover up some kind of dark, hidden painful, trauma. It goes for men, too, but women especially. Sex becomes some kind of salve to forget about their problems; it's no different to them than heroin to a junkie or the knife to the cutter.
But, I continued to read on, becoming more engrossed and grossed out. No matter how disgusted I was by whatever she wrote, I couldn't stop reading; I was so morbidly interested. I read her ABOUT ME section and she said she was an atheist, some kind of disillusioned Catholic. Out loud, I actually said "Ah, makes sense," to myself.
There'll be more on that later, but as I was interested in her blog, I continued to comb through her older entries and then I got to this post: 6 Reasons Why The News Of Heath Ledger's Death Should Not Upset You. Ironically, this is the post that turned me completely off of her blog. All of the kinky, nasty, dirty, freaky stuff I could stomach, but this is TOO disgusting.
These "reasons" are so fucking trivial:
"1. You didn't know him." - Kind of a good reason, hard to argue against, but it's a cop-out. As human beings, do we not have humanity, empathy? He was somebody's son, father, friend, brother, lover, cousin, nephew, whatever, whatever. Can you not imagine what that would feel like? To not only lose someone you care about, but having it broadcast all over the news?
"2. He was the blonde guy in Brokeback Mountain, not Jake." - That somehow lowers the value on his life? Seriously?
"3. He was Australian, and those guys have a psycho death wish. They LIKE dying." - Let's assume this is true. If he, indeed, did have a "psycho death wish," wouldn't he have chosen a grander way of kicking the bucket than OD'ing on sleep medication?
"4. He was going to star in ANOTHER fucking Batman movie later this year. Yawn. And hey he was supposed to be the Joker - they’ll just need to slap white paint on some other actor." - It's not that simple, and it gives me a headache trying to wrap my mind around this one. Acting is not as easy as people think it is. If it was, movies wouldn't be as shitty as they are now. And can you be replaced at your job just as easily? If so, you must not be doing something right.
"5. He overdosed on drugs BEFORE his scheduled massage - very poor planning on his part." - This would make sense if people were sad over the fact that he missed his massage, but I think the bigger issue was that he died. He missed an appointment because he died, so we should all go piss on his grave?
"6. He had at least one bad tattoo." - Wow, then I guess he deserves to burn in hell.
I wanted to believe this wasn't serious #y'know, since it's so fucking ridiculous# but I'm pretty sure she was. I could see if she gave some legitimate reasons, but most of these are nit-picking, pitiful excuses not to care about somebody. But then, there are comments, too:
"Believe me, I would be MUCH more sympathetic if he met his end, say, by a sting ray barb through his heart, than overdosing on DRUGS in his NYC pad, with his HOUSEKEEPER finding him cuz she was letting him know his MASSEUSE was there.
<- I don't understand what the difference is, both are unfortunate accidents. What's so wrong with taking sleeping medications and wanting a massage? People deal with stress differently; that was his way. I could see if some Lolita hooker or rentboy found him when she or he was scheduled to give him his blowjob or he was found dead while beating off to snuff films. THEN, it lesses the sting, but all he did was take some pills and unfortunately, he over did it and "picked" a shitty time to die. I'm sure the masseuse was all pissed off about not getting paid for her services. Jimi Hendrix took sleeping pills and drowned in his own vomit, does that negate his talent and the feelings of all those who miss him?
"Does the world really need another Batman movie? Apparently, God doesn’t think so. Yes, the Lord works in mysterious ways…"
<- SERIOUSLY? A daughter will never know her father and all you can do is thank God there won't be another Batman movie? So, when you hear about a death in your family, are you one of those people who worry about what will be served at the banquet?
"He wasn’t that impressive an actor. Plus, he was in the worst movie ever made: “Monster’s Ball”. In which, he shot himself, interestingly enough. The only reason anyone’s mourning him is he was hunky. That’s what irks me, the shallowness of the mourners. You know who’s a great actor? Steve Buscemi. Would we bombarded by vague, yet emphatic mournings if he bought the farm? No."
<- I see his point somewhat, but to compare Heath Ledger to Steve Buscemi is not balanced. For one thing, age is a factor. Steve Buscemi is 50 years old; Ledger was 28. Fifty is young, but it isn't much of a shock when someone dies at that age as compared to someone who wasn't even in the prime of his life. For a better example, I would suggest some comtemporary actors similar to Heath. For instance, Brad Renfro was a talented actor, younger than Heath, who died a week before him and he didn't make the primetime news. Take also into consideration, if another good-looking somebody like Cillian Murphy had died that day instead of Ledger. Though he is acclaimed, the public wouldn't give a damn about him. All that being said, even comparing him to these actors fall short because he was Oscar nominated. It's not every day someone who was up for Best Actor punches his ticket out of here. Again, this sounds like an excuse not to care about somebody you don't like.
"EXACTLY, the tragedy for everyone is that he was good looking. People hate losing a hottie from their ranks."
<- Kind of a contradiction considering her second reason.
"...i agree, who really gives a fuck about some rich actor. i feel ya. i didn’t even know who the hell he was until he died…blah blah. BUT, i must admit, the new batman, that IS coming out is actually much different, its not so gotham and shit. I haven’t liked batman since the 90’s. But i saw the preview of this new one, which does contain heath ledger, but no he doesn’t wear all that crappy makeup like jack nicholson. totally different interpretation of the JOKER. I won’t give that credit to heath, though. only to the director..."
<- The Joker was based off of Heath's interpretation of the character. Most of the time, directors pick actors who they feel will take the role and expand on it. Good actors simply do not put on the role like a hat; they take the hat and make an outfit and shoes to match. So, not to sound harsh or anything, but you just don't know what you're talking about.
"(cont'd from previous)... So, i feel ya on the heath hate. but always be ready for something new, and this batman looks quite fun and evil. not comicbook land, like all the others.
just for the record, this new batman is the FIRST movie for the big screen actually filmed on 70mm film stock, to be viewed in IMAX. So it looks quite cinematic.
Always keep an open mind, or you may miss the magic moments."
<- Ironic.
Really, I'm not saying they're wrong, but I think these people just seem like they hate popular celebrities and are letting that affect their empathy. I have the same problem most of the time; generally reject what the majority likes, but they're making it seem as if he was Brad Pitt or George Clooney, some guy always in the tabloids or on Entertainment Tonight. Ledger was pretty much a quiet, private person, and I don't remember too much about him when he was alive. He didn't do obnoxious things for the attention, didn't seem that way.
There are so many celebrities I can't stand, but if one of them happened to die tomorrow, I wouldn't shrug it off with a "So what?" I might have not cared for them, but they were special to somebody. Can't you see that? It reminds me of how people laughed and pointed at Britney Spears' nervous breakdown and what Liz wrote about Amy Winehouse; celebrities are put on such a high pedestal and under some much intense scruntiny that we dehumanize them, treating them like they don't have feelings or insecurities.
Often enough though, we do this to people we see everyday, too. That's why whenever I feel myself getting pissed off with someone, I tell myself that they're someone's something special and that usually calms it. You can't go through life like Patrick Bateman. Patrick Bateman doesn't want to be Patrick Bateman.
Also, what I couldn't believe was how someone who's an atheist, with so many fetishes, could be so judgemental. How can you be so sexually open, yet you're close-minded? I have a friend who's kind of the same way and I don't get it.
But ultimately, atheists, as much as they try to shock people and be irreverent, they're no different from staunch, intolerant Christians, Nazis, and racist gays and "white is right" assholes. If you're so right, why do you do so much wrong? If you're so enlightened, why are you so intolerantly ignorant?
Shame is, they don't see it, the pointlessness of choosing a side and planting yourself in a corner, telling yourself you'll never leave no matter what. All they want is the attention, it seems. Look how vulgar/obscure/deep/creative/special/much of an individual I am.
I'm not trying to judge anyone; sorry if it seems like I am. I just want to understand.
