I'm Sorry

but i don't see the big deal with drake. i thought he was a singer, but apparently he's a rapper and it's whatever on that song. i dunno, maybe it's cuz he looks like my cousin. i don't get it, but i guess evry girl, or at least the ones in the hood, are supposed to like it. whatever.

Thanks, Tyra

for absolutely nothing...

BOO THIS MAN!

actually, it's not wolverine's fault, but hugh jackman is definitely to blame since he produced this. this film is BAD, like terribly, awfully BAD. acting was OK for the most part, but was over-the-top in some instances, a lot of things in the story were illogical and out of place, script was terrible, action wasn't that thrilling, some scenes seemed unnecessary, highly predictable. i hate CGI with a sick passion and i blame all this slick slo-mo action on the matrix. it was done right then, but even the wachowski started to abuse that shit in the sequels.

it just seemed so hollow. and i don't get the point of prequels if evrybody already knows the story. i think the problem with a lot of comic book movies, mostly marvel's, is that the screenwriters write the screenplay leaving out a lot of the story with the assumption that the ppl who see the movie already know the things missing, but then they take the story and distort it inexplicably.

one of the major lowlight of the film is how ill-used a lot of the actors are. most of the people you would expect to be big deals aren't, for example, dominic monaghan and ryan reynolds. will. i. am had a longer role than both of them combined. anyway, at least i got to finally see deadpool and what he does, but this interpretation is a lot more interesting. and the guy doing gambit totally gave up on a cajun accent. he never really had one when he started, it was more generically southern, but all-around godawful. he didn't even look like remy, hair was too long and he looked greasy, not stubbly. and not even one "mon ami"! yeah, and wolverine didn't say "darlin'" once, either.

but, the major highlight, for me, was liev schreiber. for some reason, i've always had a thing for villains. i like heroes and anti-heroes, but villains seem sexy. liev is already sexy, so him as a villain is taking me higher.

MMM-mmm, yes, please! he would be the only reason i would suggest this, but see it on bootleg, download it, or go to the dollar show or rent it from the library. oh, but you know what, you should see it with black ppl, the commentary is too much fun to miss.

Blame it on Hype

forest whitaker, you oughta know better. ron howard, WHERE IS YOUR SHAME? jake gyllenhaal, i'll deal with you later. i guess they figured since the song is so ridiculous, let's let the video reflect that. but damn, i wanted that panda to be robert downey jr. so damn bad!

and why is t-pain such a coon?

Dis ish Right 'ere, N_gga, Dis ish Right 'ere?

diss songs are so hilarious to me, mostly because, most of time, the disser is not as famous as the person they're dissing, and the lyrics and video production are very poor and juvenile.

case in point, brian "b. pumper" pumper going at rick ross:

that was laugh-ha-ha-able, right? it kills me when a man's masculinity is challenged and they feel obligated to respond in the most clownish way possible.

"naw dawg, i ain't gay man, look at how i surround myself with ass...bitches' asses, nicca!"

y'know what they say, b.: "when you try hard, that's when you die hard."

he's a producer and he made that cheap-ass kitchen video? must not be that hot of a producer. and his performance is wack. if you're wack on video, you must SUCK live.

ASIDE:
doesn't he look a little bit like
punk from i love new york?

then, recently, a transsexual named foxxjazell made it known that she made the beasts with two backs with chingy, with him on the bottom.

ching-a-ling went on to make his rebuttal. and again, considering the situation, isn't it a bit a ironic he would defend his masculinity by telling ppl to "eat a dick?" yeah, way to go, gangstalicious.

YOU CALL YOURSELF CHINGY FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

i knew something was up with him, but whatever. you weren't that hard to begin with, but now somebody said something about you like being stuck in the butt and now you wanna be "butt-hurt" and "man up". you should be glad somebody would even bring you back up, for whatever reason. call yourself a "tranny-killa," really? ok, homo-homopobe.

anyway, foxxjazell came back with this:

at first i was like, "what the hell?" but, i gotta admit the truth, i kinda like it, can't stop playing it. it just sounds so cheap and ridiculous, but her flow is pretty good. she better watch out though, chris crocker might have words for her.

Speaking of Hoodrats...

what's good, Nivea? she is ms. hoodrat supreme.

prime examples:

Okay

your hands all on my booty
two stepping in my Gucci
- for the longest time, i thought she was talking "two stepping in my cootchie..."
sorry.

Parking Lot

i need to see you now can you get out, my man is at the house so
meet me at the McDonald's parking lot
for it get to late I cant wait it's just around my way so
meet me at the McDonald's parking lot
just over the hill at the light take a right hang a left on Harris drive
meet me at the McDonald's parking lot
so what you waiting for hit the door put the pedal to the floor
meet me at the McDonald's parking lot
- umm, WHAT?

and my personal favorite...

Laundromat

soap, powder, bleach, towels, fabric softner, dollars, change, pants, socks, dirty drawers
i'm going to the laundromat
and let's not forget the food stains, dirt spots, head sets, chips, pop, pay phones, clean house
i'm going to the laundromat
- i actually like the video, very high school production

i hope she gets better.

Fried Twinkies?

is this what's hot in the streets?

What the Effa, Heiffa?

i dunno if i should be putting them on blast like this, but at my school, we have a student council something that hosts movie showings. thing is, the movies they show are clearly bootlegs. anyway, they advertise these events by putting up huge posters in the elevator/stairwell area. so, think about what it's like to walk by a big-ass poster of this:

a few things:
first of all, why does he look so goddamn tangy? the hazel eyes make it even more magically delicious. he is serving such face and the girl is looking away, her face angled to show all the sharp and strong parts; NOT very flattering. do these kids really need to have the shit airbrushed out of them? that doesn't even look like robert pattinson and, she's not in color either, stuck on background status. so, whose movie is this and who is it for? i know edward cullen is supposed to be panty moisturizer or whatever, but is this what the girls really like? though, this is nothing entirely new...

#doesn't Brad look a little like Angelina? curiouser and curiouser.#

#mmmm-hmmmm#

#worth 1000+#

#see-through shirt or not, stuart townshed can touch my body#

#gary gets a pass, though#

the tagline: Evil is a choice. uh, yeah, no shit; so's good. fuck effort poster for a fuck effort movie, from what i've heard. sufficeth to say, this was the last thing i wanted to see on a rainy wednesday on two hours' sleep.

The Etta James Situation

She said.

They say.

Then, she said.

Now, I say:
Etta James can say whatever the fuck she wants, point-blank. No, it wasn't "her song" originally, but fuck Beyonce, and I mean that respectfully. Ppl were like, "Oh, where does she get off talking about Beyonce like that? Beyonce did it better," BULLSHIT ON THAT BULLSHIT. Beyonce can barely sing and I am sick as hell of hearing ppl sing her praises. She's overrated, period, and her portrayal and renditions of Etta's songs weren't even good enough to be considered sub-par, honestly. So, when they finally get around to making Nina Simone's biopic, is she going to replace Mary J.? It's not my favorite one, but "At Last" is Etta's signature and Beyonce is always trying to swagger-jack somebody else's shit. Not to mention, Etta sounded drunk as hell, so why would you out too much stock into anything she said. And even if she did mean it, she has more talent in her than Beyonce and for ppl to insult her just because she got raw on Beyonce pisses me off.

Fierce? GIRL, BYE

I don't know how to feel about Beyonce. She's pretty popular, so of course that's a strike against her.

#See the lady in the back? Over her shoulder? That's me.#

I like some of her songs, but I don't care for her appearance. Black women with blonde hair disappoints me. Another strike.

#See, it doesn't even frame her face right.#

Now, she's playing Etta James in Cadillac Records.

HUGE FUGGIN' STRIKE.

Not for nothing, but she doesn't LOOK nor SING like Etta James. But, if Etta's ok with it, I guess I'll have to tolerate it.

But this is a nice look. But she'll never be as fierce as Craigalicious.

#This looks like something I would wear. I especially like the peep-toes#

Goddamit if I don't love Etta James. Goddamn YOU if you don't.

Celebrity skin ain't that thick

I watch people, it's kind of a thing I've been doing for years. They're very fascinating. It might seem weird to say it like that, but people are unpredictably predictable. So, of course I love to read other people's blogs. Instead of me wondering what someone's thinking, all I have to do is read their thoughts, via their blog. However, most of those blogs, with people writing about their shitty ass day, not my cup of tea. But, most of the time, I do come across some very interesting blogs.

Few weeks ago, I came across a blog, The Beautiful Kind. I should warn you, this blog has some pretty far-out there sexual proclivities that the faint of heart might not be able to take. Like, for real, you don't have to go through that many posts to see what I mean. When I started reading it, I thought it was a gay guy at first, but then found it was a woman, which disappointed me somewhat.

I dunno, I usually don't like to hear about women talking about their outrageous sex lives #or really anyone, for that matter# but I find that I can tolerate it more if I hear it from a gay man. I dunno, I'm weird that way. I have no problem with a woman asserting her strong sexuality, but usually it's being used to cover up some kind of dark, hidden painful, trauma. It goes for men, too, but women especially. Sex becomes some kind of salve to forget about their problems; it's no different to them than heroin to a junkie or the knife to the cutter.

But, I continued to read on, becoming more engrossed and grossed out. No matter how disgusted I was by whatever she wrote, I couldn't stop reading; I was so morbidly interested. I read her ABOUT ME section and she said she was an atheist, some kind of disillusioned Catholic. Out loud, I actually said "Ah, makes sense," to myself.

There'll be more on that later, but as I was interested in her blog, I continued to comb through her older entries and then I got to this post: 6 Reasons Why The News Of Heath Ledger's Death Should Not Upset You. Ironically, this is the post that turned me completely off of her blog. All of the kinky, nasty, dirty, freaky stuff I could stomach, but this is TOO disgusting.

These "reasons" are so fucking trivial:

"1. You didn't know him." - Kind of a good reason, hard to argue against, but it's a cop-out. As human beings, do we not have humanity, empathy? He was somebody's son, father, friend, brother, lover, cousin, nephew, whatever, whatever. Can you not imagine what that would feel like? To not only lose someone you care about, but having it broadcast all over the news?

"2. He was the blonde guy in Brokeback Mountain, not Jake." - That somehow lowers the value on his life? Seriously?

"3. He was Australian, and those guys have a psycho death wish. They LIKE dying." - Let's assume this is true. If he, indeed, did have a "psycho death wish," wouldn't he have chosen a grander way of kicking the bucket than OD'ing on sleep medication?

"4. He was going to star in ANOTHER fucking Batman movie later this year. Yawn. And hey he was supposed to be the Joker - they’ll just need to slap white paint on some other actor." - It's not that simple, and it gives me a headache trying to wrap my mind around this one. Acting is not as easy as people think it is. If it was, movies wouldn't be as shitty as they are now. And can you be replaced at your job just as easily? If so, you must not be doing something right.

"5. He overdosed on drugs BEFORE his scheduled massage - very poor planning on his part." - This would make sense if people were sad over the fact that he missed his massage, but I think the bigger issue was that he died. He missed an appointment because he died, so we should all go piss on his grave?

"6. He had at least one bad tattoo." - Wow, then I guess he deserves to burn in hell.

I wanted to believe this wasn't serious #y'know, since it's so fucking ridiculous# but I'm pretty sure she was. I could see if she gave some legitimate reasons, but most of these are nit-picking, pitiful excuses not to care about somebody. But then, there are comments, too:

"Believe me, I would be MUCH more sympathetic if he met his end, say, by a sting ray barb through his heart, than overdosing on DRUGS in his NYC pad, with his HOUSEKEEPER finding him cuz she was letting him know his MASSEUSE was there.
<- I don't understand what the difference is, both are unfortunate accidents. What's so wrong with taking sleeping medications and wanting a massage? People deal with stress differently; that was his way. I could see if some Lolita hooker or rentboy found him when she or he was scheduled to give him his blowjob or he was found dead while beating off to snuff films. THEN, it lesses the sting, but all he did was take some pills and unfortunately, he over did it and "picked" a shitty time to die. I'm sure the masseuse was all pissed off about not getting paid for her services. Jimi Hendrix took sleeping pills and drowned in his own vomit, does that negate his talent and the feelings of all those who miss him?

"Does the world really need another Batman movie? Apparently, God doesn’t think so. Yes, the Lord works in mysterious ways…"
<- SERIOUSLY? A daughter will never know her father and all you can do is thank God there won't be another Batman movie? So, when you hear about a death in your family, are you one of those people who worry about what will be served at the banquet?

"He wasn’t that impressive an actor. Plus, he was in the worst movie ever made: “Monster’s Ball”. In which, he shot himself, interestingly enough. The only reason anyone’s mourning him is he was hunky. That’s what irks me, the shallowness of the mourners. You know who’s a great actor? Steve Buscemi. Would we bombarded by vague, yet emphatic mournings if he bought the farm? No."
<- I see his point somewhat, but to compare Heath Ledger to Steve Buscemi is not balanced. For one thing, age is a factor. Steve Buscemi is 50 years old; Ledger was 28. Fifty is young, but it isn't much of a shock when someone dies at that age as compared to someone who wasn't even in the prime of his life. For a better example, I would suggest some comtemporary actors similar to Heath. For instance, Brad Renfro was a talented actor, younger than Heath, who died a week before him and he didn't make the primetime news. Take also into consideration, if another good-looking somebody like Cillian Murphy had died that day instead of Ledger. Though he is acclaimed, the public wouldn't give a damn about him. All that being said, even comparing him to these actors fall short because he was Oscar nominated. It's not every day someone who was up for Best Actor punches his ticket out of here. Again, this sounds like an excuse not to care about somebody you don't like.

"EXACTLY, the tragedy for everyone is that he was good looking. People hate losing a hottie from their ranks."
<- Kind of a contradiction considering her second reason.

"...i agree, who really gives a fuck about some rich actor. i feel ya. i didn’t even know who the hell he was until he died…blah blah. BUT, i must admit, the new batman, that IS coming out is actually much different, its not so gotham and shit. I haven’t liked batman since the 90’s. But i saw the preview of this new one, which does contain heath ledger, but no he doesn’t wear all that crappy makeup like jack nicholson. totally different interpretation of the JOKER. I won’t give that credit to heath, though. only to the director..."
<- The Joker was based off of Heath's interpretation of the character. Most of the time, directors pick actors who they feel will take the role and expand on it. Good actors simply do not put on the role like a hat; they take the hat and make an outfit and shoes to match. So, not to sound harsh or anything, but you just don't know what you're talking about.

"(cont'd from previous)... So, i feel ya on the heath hate. but always be ready for something new, and this batman looks quite fun and evil. not comicbook land, like all the others.
just for the record, this new batman is the FIRST movie for the big screen actually filmed on 70mm film stock, to be viewed in IMAX. So it looks quite cinematic.
Always keep an open mind, or you may miss the magic moments."
<- Ironic.

Really, I'm not saying they're wrong, but I think these people just seem like they hate popular celebrities and are letting that affect their empathy. I have the same problem most of the time; generally reject what the majority likes, but they're making it seem as if he was Brad Pitt or George Clooney, some guy always in the tabloids or on Entertainment Tonight. Ledger was pretty much a quiet, private person, and I don't remember too much about him when he was alive. He didn't do obnoxious things for the attention, didn't seem that way.

There are so many celebrities I can't stand, but if one of them happened to die tomorrow, I wouldn't shrug it off with a "So what?" I might have not cared for them, but they were special to somebody. Can't you see that? It reminds me of how people laughed and pointed at Britney Spears' nervous breakdown and what Liz wrote about Amy Winehouse; celebrities are put on such a high pedestal and under some much intense scruntiny that we dehumanize them, treating them like they don't have feelings or insecurities.

Often enough though, we do this to people we see everyday, too. That's why whenever I feel myself getting pissed off with someone, I tell myself that they're someone's something special and that usually calms it. You can't go through life like Patrick Bateman. Patrick Bateman doesn't want to be Patrick Bateman.

Also, what I couldn't believe was how someone who's an atheist, with so many fetishes, could be so judgemental. How can you be so sexually open, yet you're close-minded? I have a friend who's kind of the same way and I don't get it.

But ultimately, atheists, as much as they try to shock people and be irreverent, they're no different from staunch, intolerant Christians, Nazis, and racist gays and "white is right" assholes. If you're so right, why do you do so much wrong? If you're so enlightened, why are you so intolerantly ignorant?

Shame is, they don't see it, the pointlessness of choosing a side and planting yourself in a corner, telling yourself you'll never leave no matter what. All they want is the attention, it seems. Look how vulgar/obscure/deep/creative/special/much of an individual I am.

I'm not trying to judge anyone; sorry if it seems like I am. I just want to understand.

What's Really Good? #2

Ok, so as I’ve stated previously, I am a filmmaker. Because I am an upcoming filmmaker, I felt it would be a great idea to meet and associate other up and coming filmmakers. After all, isn’t that what is suggested in any field you want to go into? Find someone who does what you want to do and get in touch? Anyway, I found this guy a while ago and seeing as he is also a young black filmmaker from Detroit; I thought it might be in good interest to contact him, not for advice or anything, just to hear his experiences and just talk to each other as colleagues.

So, earlier this week, I sent out a note on facebook telling all of my “friends” that my movie was going to premiere and if they were interested, they could come see it. From there is when we really started to talk and only a few minutes in did I realize what a horrible mistake it was to ever contact him.

He asked me if I wanted to be a director when “I grew up” and if I knew that’s what he did. First of all, I’m 19; I’m as grown as I’m ever going to get, don’t patronize me. Secondly, that was the only reason I asked to be his friend, him being a director. Maybe he thought I was on some groupie shit or something, I dunno. He asked me if I was going to school for it and thinking he too went to Wayne State, like I do, I made mention of the intro class and one of the professors. I had made this assumption because in some of his videos, I had recognized some Wayne State landmarks and it never occurred to me that anyone who didn’t go to Wayne State would come here to film a movie, especially since one of them is centered around a gung-ho security guard.

After he had straightened me out on where he did go, I casually began to talk about how when I was in production, I asked over 100 people if they were interested in being in my film and out of the 20 who said they were, only six showed up. At this point was when I felt the hostility started. He then began to talk to me as if I was stupid and I felt as if he was steamrolling over me whenever I said something. He went into how he spent 2,000$ setting up a showcase of his films at a theater, asked 7,000 people to attend and only 30 came. He said he scoffed at my disappointment.

He then went into how he got out of Detroit because it’s a “crabs in a barrel” city that he had to leave because unless you’re shooting something major, you’re just “a nigga with a camera” and that he puts his faith in “women and white boys” to show up in his movies while it was just the opposite for me: I asked damn near EVERYBODY I knew and only five black guys came.

Anyway, deeper into conversation, he started telling me how hard it would be for me to be a successful filmmaker, since I am a black female, AS IF I didn’t already know. (And apparently, he’s never heard of Kasi Lemmons, Gina Prince-Bythewood, Maya Angelou, Euzhan Palcy, Debbie Allen, Neema Barnette, Troy Breyer, and of course, many more) He was saying I could never bomb and all this other pessimistic truth. I agreed with him by saying, “yeah, it’s not very encouraging”, referring of course, to the way things are, but then he must have misconstrued what I said because he replied with something like, “this isn’t supposed to be encouraging”, like, I ever asked for HIS encouragement.

Deeper still in conversation, I told him how my intro instructor was a woman, but the best one to take was this other lady. This is when he told me that I had to learn filmmaking from a white man. That’s so much bullshit; I don’t even know where to start. He told me that when someone said that to him, it offended him too, but it must not have offended him that much to the point where he took their advice and then turned around and repeated it as if it were the gospel truth. Just because white men are usually the ones who get the most opportunities to make the films they want doesn’t make them the end-all authority on the subject of filmmaking. He told me that I should “stop trying to fight the power,” spoken like a true King Crab Tom.

The only way to change things is to fight, revolution is evolution.

He went on to say that women were good at the small aspects of production, like costume design and script supervisor, but weren’t the ones to see about “behind the camera work.” Again, apparently he never heard of Dorothy Arzner, Jane Campion, Asia Argento, Virginie Despentes, Sofia Coppola, Alice Guy, Agnès Varda, Julie Taymor, and of course, a whole score of others.

He also never seemed to know that major studios used to only hire women to be their editors, as editing was seen as women’s work since you had to weave and piece together the film, like sewing. Editing is, arguably, the most important part of filmmaking, perhaps second to directing. Women edited Jaws, American Graffiti, Paper Moon, Bonnie and Clyde, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, a woman edits every single one of Quentin Tarantino’s films!

He would also tell me that racist cliché of “Jews run Hollywood”, a page taken straight out of the gospel according to Mel “sugartits / sonuvanazi” Gibson. Now, although there is truth to this, I don’t think this is an important thing to bring up since Jews do not implement their religion or lifestyle into anything Hollywood produced and it’s hard to actually find creditable evidence of this without something reading like propaganda commissioned by Goebbels.

SIDE NOTE: Jews also came up Superman, The Hulk, the X-Men, Iron Man, and Spider-Man.

This led to a brief discussion about Megan Fox, an “actress” I neither find attractive, (to me, she bears an uncanny resemblance to Nic Cage) or a decent thespian. He defended her beauty, but not my point that her acting was weak. He called me a “hater”. Well, if wanted a so-called “actress” to do her damn job and be more than some pretty plaything, then I’m a hater. But from a directing standpoint, if you can’t do a damn thing for me, I can’t do a damn thing for you. He must be the same kind of person who would go on and on over how beautiful Halle Berry is and then tack on at the last instance, “oh yeah, she’s a good actress, too,” but that’s another story.

So, cut to when I was finally able to put my film on facebook and youtube. All of the people who saw it gave me positive feedback, even my mother, who I honestly didn’t expect to dig it so much. Then he sees it and gives me some comments / issues he had, that I never asked for, by the way. And first of all, he, for some reason, had a hard time finding my video on my facebook page, which is strange because all of the people who did see it before him, never expressed their difficulty in finding it. He made mention of this on the note I used to tag everyone so they could see it and I said, “there’s always one person…” (meaning there’s always that one who is difficult. Y'know, like the kid who can never open his milk carton by himself or tie his own laces. It seemed to me as if I was wasting his time, but I’m not apologizing for that) and he came back with, “who wants to help you?” HMM!

Mostly, it was little things, like, “why does the first professor look like he’s twenty?”, “lol @ 'But We're Married On FaceBook!'. And all that stuff that the 2nd teacher was talking about sounded MAD confusing. Was it real information?”, “The main actress has REALLY BIG breast though! MMmmmmm.” (apparently, my poor sister only has one huge tit and of course he would only be concerned with her physical appearance), and “I LOVED THE ENDING!!”, but then, he also got on how I cut the scene between Seth and Dolores, how the classroom scene goes on for “too long", and how I chose to get rid of the audio for some scenes. I would later go and explain and answer all that he raised in the most polite way possible, even though his suggestion that “If you wanted the shot @ 1:14 to last a long time, speed it up by showing a clock moving forward really fast” sounds so laughable bad and corny that I cringed, and I thanked him for his comments, though I didn’t ask for them, didn’t need them.

He then came back saying that the things he said about my cutting/editing, long shots, and no audio were not questions or concerns, but “FACTUAL ERRORS.” These things were all style choices that I made and when I responded with, “I thought the director could make the film they wanted,” he came back with basically “no style can excuse bad filmmaking.”

Oh, for real?

I wrote out a response to him, but decided against sending it because if it’s one thing I learned it’s never argue with a fool, especially a Tom.

Now, wait, let’s go back. First of all, there is no such thing as FACTUAL ERRORS in filmmaking, it’s not a science, it’s an art. A filmmaker can do no wrong when it comes to their art. Someone can show you how to use a camera, but whatever you do with it is all up to you and I’m sorry your white man never taught you that.

Where is it written that cuts or edits have to be a certain way, that a scene should hold for ‘x’ amount of time, or that there such be music/audio in every shot? I don’t think it’s written anywhere and if it is, it’s not a law, and if it is, I don’t have to follow it.

I don’t say this a lot, I try not to, but NIGGA, PLEASE!

I’m the filmmaker, I can do whatever the fuck I want with MY art.

You want to work with things that are set in rules, go into engineering, calculus, or even journalism, (which, have also experienced there own rule breakers), you should probably get out of filmmaking because nobody follows “the rules”. Unless you’re my producer or studio and you’re paying me for a job, you have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do.

If I wanted, I could walk on the warpath and totally tear his work to pieces, but as an artist, I have no right. Who am I to say that his artistic view is wrong just because I disagree?

The thing that really burns my grits is how absolute he said that my style is bad filmmaking, like he’s the GOD of cinema. Why? Just because I felt the scene needed to draaaaaaaaaaag and that I thought no sound was a much better touch than Skittles rattling around in the bag or the annoying hum of an air conditioner and I didn't want to slather music all around it to fill the void?

So, was it also bad filmmaking when Martin Scorsese opted to use black and white in Raging Bull when color had been around since the 30’s or filmed his fight scenes in slow motion when regular or faster motion might have been better choices, all in the sake of style? Was it bad filmmaking when Jean-Luc Godard broke the rules of classical Hollywood cinema with the way he edited Breathless?

Film is an art, saying there are rules is like saying a painter is limited to a certain kind of paint and brush, singers have to sing in this note, actors have to act like this and this way only, sculptors can only use this clay, authors have to write novels and poems like this or like that, but not both.

You sound like a fool and ultimately, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

You have your ways and I have mine and neither is incorrect, in contrast, to whatever you think or whatever the white man taught you.

Now, I don’t want to be called racist or make it seem as if I’m discrediting the accomplishments of white directors. I’ve learned from the white man as well: Quentin Tarantino taught me that I can have ridiculously long takes of dialogue that may bore the audience (see Death Proof), or that if I so choose, I can mutilate or kill someone to some obscure happy pop song (see Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, Death Proof). Martin Scorsese taught me that I can freeze frame my shots and put character’s narration over it (see Goodfellas, Casino)and that I can use super slow motion (see Casino, The Departed, and Raging Bull) and use fast jump cuts when I edit (Goodfellas, Casino). Wes Anderson says I can use an entire soundtrack of David Bowie songs performed by a Brazilian artist to narrate my film (Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou) and that I can have someone commit suicide in a highly glamorized way or have a too long scene of someone getting off a bus (Royal Tenenbaums). Jonathan Demme showed me that I can show extreme close-ups of people talking or listening (see Silence of the Lambs, Philadelphia).

But, I also learn from the black man: Spike Lee showed me I can have people float down the street and preach throughout an entire three hour feature film (just about any Spike Lee Joint), black brothers: The Hughes Brothers taught me that I can make a movie about urban crime (Dead Presidents, Menace II Society) and then make a movie about Victorian crime (From Hell), the asian: Wong Kar-wai showed me that I can be very visual and stylized, even if it draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaags the story out (Happy Together, Days of Being Wild, 2064, Chungking Express, In the Mood for Love), the Jew: Steven Spielberg (the mightiest Jew in all of Hollywood) proved that you can make an excellent film with an all black cast that will get you nominated for eleven Oscars, but not only will you not win a single one, not everyone will be pleased with the film (The Color Purple), the Frenchman: Luc Besson taught me that I can be diverse and I shouldn't want to be labeled (view his entire body of work), the Frenchwoman: Viriginie Despentes taught me that I don’t have to be afraid to be graphic (Baise-Moi), the Italian: Dario Argento showed me that I can glamorized my horror (any one of his films) and if I want, exploit a close family member by showing her naked or being raped (Trauma, Stendhal Syndrome, Phantom of the Opera, all with daughter Asia).

Who are you anyway to say my techniques are “bad filmmaking” just because they go against your school of teaching? It reminds me very much of what Liz said about English teachers (or at least, Hollywood Shuffle).

My shots were in focus, no booms in the shot, acting was more than decent, my lighting was pretty good, my sound was pretty damn good. I spent a week, every day, five hours at a time editing this. For my first ever film, I think I did a better than decent job.

Do I have more to learn, sure, but please don’t come at me like I don’t know what I’m doing.

I don’t do this film thing because someone told me this is the way it is supposed to be or I must do this exactly like this, I do this with my heart and if that’s not good enough for you, I won’t even have the decency to apologize.

I was raised by two stubborn people who told me that there was nothing I couldn’t do so you can’t tell me nothing.

And if I am a perpetrator of “bad filmmaking”, so what? Uwe Boll is NOTORIOUS for his awful movies, but yet, bold as sin, he defends his films and has an audience, as evident by the producers who continue to fund his projects. And also, I appear to have an audience since the feedback I’ve gotten has been overwhelmingly positive. So, irregardless of his nitpicking of my so-called FACTUAL ERRORS, I, and my audience, like it. He could bring an entire army of white male filmmakers to shout me down to say I’m wrong, but I’m standing firm.

Do what you do and I’ll do what I want. Though I disagree with his style choices, I would never critique him and write it off as bad filmmaking.

OH, and he also picked issue with the fact that in IM conversations when I misspell a word I correct it with a plus (+) and not an asterisk (*). He obviously has a pattern, do it his way or it's wrong.

Funny how, when you’re not trying to please people, they think you are and complain like you care. And he might say he's just honest and I’m making something out of nothing and he’s just trying to help me, but it’s help I never asked for. There are two sides to every story and neither is incorrect.

All I can do is let a Tom be a Tom and let my art be mine.

And if you want to avoid bad filmmaking, never watch movies by Ralph Bakshi, the Coen Brothers, David Lynch, David Cronenberg, Gregg Araki...you know what, you're probably better off not watching movies at all.

What's Really Good?

So, I’m a film student and currently taking the required intro production class for my major. Let me give you a little background of my production class: there are 14 people in it: ten white students, four black, with nine guys and five girls. Given these ratios, you can see how it’s a little intimidating and may feel excluding.

There are four major projects for this class: montage, continuity, audio, and the final, which can be any kind of project we want. Currently, we’re done with montage, finishing up continuity, and now starting audio. The montage project was done the second day of class so there wasn’t a lot of planning/thought thrown into it. For continuity, however, we were given a scenario for a short sequence and needed to put together a pre-production folder with storyboards, a shot list, a shot sequence list, and a lot of other kinds of lists in order to shoot it. Basically, this required a lot of time and thought. Since we would be working in groups, our instructor (a young woman who was a TA for one of my classes this winter) told us that the director would be the person with the most storyboards. Being the director/overachiever I am in my head, I ended up doing 45 shots on my storyboard and lemme tell you, it took some time and thought.

I usually try not to build myself up too much over things I want to happen so when they don’t I won’t be too upset, but I really wanted to be the director of this project. I felt that I needed to gain more experience filming “professionally.” However, in spite of my 45 shots, another member of my group (me and four white guys) was made director even though he only had 41 shots. I was very shocked and a little upset.

I had so many because as I said, I really wanted to be director, but even with my 45, I was sure someone else had more. To have someone else chosen over me when he did less troubled me. I was left to wonder what had happened to influence her in that decision. Was mine too complicated? Was my camera diagram too convoluted? Did I do something wrong on one of my lists? But the guy she picked hadn’t even had his shot lists typed out. So what the hell happened?

I didn’t think race had anything to do with it, I’m pretty sure the instructor isn’t like that. Ultimately I reasoned that her decision was made in my best interest. I am a black woman working in a group of white men; maybe she felt they wouldn’t comply with my authority as director. And as much as I appreciate her considering this, if this is what she considered, I’m 19; I’m a grown woman and can handle myself. I am a quiet person and perhaps a little timid when it comes to talking to people I don’t know, but to be a director, you have to be a leader and a leader doesn’t necessarily mean being a ball-busting bitch. You can command attention and be authoritative with calm force.

I would later find out from one of my friends from production who had worked with the guy she picked, that that guy was kind of like “white trash”, (according to her, at least,) so maybe the decision was made to ensure there wouldn’t be any problems. Either the case, I was miffed, but I accepted her decision.

Cut to when we had to go shoot. Three of the guys, it was decided that they would be our actors, with the chosen guy as director, of course, then I was left to be the slate girl (as I had been for the montage project, in a group with two white men) and also left to note the production logs. The slate is something of an important tool when filming since it helps in editing. When you film, it will usually be out of sequence, so you put the slate with the shot number in front of the camera, begin filming, then snatch it out of frame when the director calls for action.

However, our director didn’t want to use a slate, (but he let me anyway, though I was getting the feeling midway through that he may have been recording after I moved the slate) or even the tripod. He shot scenes in such a rushed, “let’s get this shit done” way, not taking it seriously at all, saying how stupid it was. His shooting was very strange; he never got too close to the action, just from different angles (or rather corners of the room) and zoomed in. One of the guys asked then, why did he do so many storyboards. Apparently, he had BLOWN SOME TREES and went crazy on the storyboarding. While shooting, I don’t even think he followed his shot list. Also, the guys were talking and it came up that not one of them had passed the camera test, which is something you need to pass to check out equipment to shoot your final. I was the only one who passed in the group, one of the two who passed in the entire class.

We were given two hours to shoot, but with him, we were “done” in one. Since we had time, we watched our footage. Sure enough, watching the tape, I saw that for many shots, he did shoot over the slate, which led to some confusion when we had to capture clips from the tape onto the computer. #duh-duh, dummy#

The next day, I was helping the friend who had worked with him before, telling her how shoddy his work ethic and quality and how poorly composed his scenes were and how I felt gravely cheated since I was a little more qualified to be director. I passed the camera test, I had the most shots on my storyboard, and I would have taken this project seriously enough to not half-ass my way through. She went on to tell me that the instructor may have picked him since he was “always in her face,” he told her once that she was hot and smart. This led me to re-evaluate my original assessment of the instructor. Had she really sold me out because some guy told her she was hot and smart?

She didn’t strike me as the type of women to do that, but flattery does go a long way with most women, especially since she and he are probably very close in age. She strikes me as a smart, sophisticated woman, but she could be the kind of smart, sophisticated woman to get off on being called hot by some kind of rebellious stoner. Might be something like a fantasy for her. I don’t know, but again I was troubled.

Last Friday was the last day to capture/edit in class. Our director had to leave, so we were capturing without him when we noticed that in many scenes, the tripod, that he decided not to use, was left in the background. Since our project is based on continuity, this is kind of a bad thing, but we decided a way to work around this. Still, he fucked it up. Though we could all take some blame, as director, he was the one responsible for scene composition and the only one to look through the viewfinder, so he should have seen the tripod there, but since he didn’t really give a shit about the quality of his shots, I highly doubt it would matter much to him. He also had a shot of the top of my head in the frame. Why not tell me to move or do a reshoot?

About the tripod, he later apologized to me personally and I told him it was not really a big deal, since it was consistent, but it does burn my grits. I hate it when people don’t follow the rules, thinking their way is right, only to fuck it up. Fuck yourself up, not your group members. At least we got to edit our own cuts by ourselves.

As the project is in the can now, I would wonder if maybe I blew this incident out of proportion, maybe it’s my “black girl paranoia” flaring up, but I cannot understand how someone would ever make the conscious decision to pick someone with no work ethic over someone who values one.

It kicks into my fear of people openly accepting mediocrity as the new standard. My production friend would also tell me that the director of her group put little effort into his storyboards. Ergo, my instructor must be a “fuck effort” person. I wasn’t raised that way. Anything with your name on it deserves some pride put into it or what’s the point of doing it?

All the groups had white male directors, what the fuck is that about anyway? I can’t speak for the other group’s members, but I know the effort I put forth. The film industry is very racist and sexist; was this supposed to serve as some kind of foreshadowing to how my career will be? Some under-qualified white male director behind the camera while competently qualified me is stuck being slate girl?

It’s great that “minorities” are making grand advances in mathematics and science and medicine, it really is, but there should be a larger number representing in media because that is how we communicate. People go to the hospital only when they need to, but we watch tv every night and go to the movies on the weekends.

Think of all of the ignorance and frustration that could be eliminated if people of color would/could express themselves. And when I say “people”, I mean a variety of persons of color since one person from one race cannot represent everyone of their race. Same thing with gender. When only one person does represent one race or gender role, we usually call this a stereotype. The only reason writers use stereotypes is because it’s much easier to use an image or role everyone knows of rather than actually delve deep enough to develop a character of substance. Basically most writers, usually white in their early 30’s, are LAZY.

Bullshit on that bullshit. I won’t be denied or discouraged. Maybe I’ll never be as recognized as Spielberg or Scorsese, but as a black female, it is of the utmost importance that I try to mark my place in media and let my perspective be seen.

My mission is difficult, but it will be accomplished.

#miles to go before I sleep, miles to go before I sleep#