Past-ing Thought

i gave you a piece of myself, my insecurity, so that you could be secure with yourself with the knowledge that there is a girl who hates herself just the way you hate yourself. i did that because we were friends.

Mucho Gusto, Es un Placer

My name is _______,
i cry when i’m frustrated
i’m giddy when i’m sleepy
i don’t think i’m anything special, but try to walk over me and
i’ll stomp you out
i’m not selling cheap
i might be depressed
i’m horny when i’m sleepy
i want to please you, it’s important to me
i will one day because i want to
i think life would be easier sometimes if i were prettier
i think people would be nicer
i’m grumpy when i’m sleepy
i'm hard on myself
i'm not a child, in spite of how i act sometimes, though
i am a brat
“i want to trust you” is what i meant to say
i don’t say much cuz
i never know when to shut up and
i never say the right things
i’m not too bright but
i’m not that dumb
i don’t know how to fight, but
i still try
i don’t feel like i’m good enough sometimes and don’t think
i deserve happiness, but
i know better than that and
i will get what i want.

nice to meet you, nice to meet you, nice to meet you.

Lost

the video:

a comment from "chrisbzshawty":
LMFAOOOO; i couldn't breathe throughout this whole video . you are funny . now i regret signing up with this name but i don't want to make a new one because i have way too many subscriptions , favorites , and playlists i don't feel like re-doing . but i'll still listen to his music . if anything chris needs all the support he can get . i think it's unfair how one little incident ( well not so little ) will make everybody turn on chris like this . smh .

then, another from the same poster:
rihanna's soft ? if she can hit her brother with a glass bottle; she can take a punch.

now, aren't these nice biased statements? if there's anything i hate more than a groupie is a dumbass groupie. i'll never understand how ppl can be stans.

yeah, it's real sad how ppl don't want to support a woman-beater. what the fuck is wrong with us? poor chris! that poor, sweet, innocent boy just made a teeny-weeny mistake and got carried away.

yeah, she hit her brother with a glass bottle, HER BROTHER. chris brown beat her, not her brother. this girl must be an only child because anybody with siblings know how sometimes you just have to brawl with your brother/sister. it's natural. it's not right to throw glass, but that's what girls do. we aren't as strong as men and sometimes in desperation, we use foreign objects.

women make me sick these days. we really did kill chivalry with our petty jealousy at each other. ugly as i feel some days, i get jealous and i get bitter, but i will never enjoy a woman being beaten, regardless of her attractiveness. that's not my sickness; sorry if it's yours.

Fried Twinkies?

is this what's hot in the streets?

Two things, not so quick

craigalicious posted about miley and her stupid ass and then she "apologized" after the fact, of course. then phil defranco had some shit to say because margaret cho wrote a song about it and somebody's trying to sue miley. first off, he said that cho makes fun of ppl all the time and that doesn't exactly sound right to me, i don't think i've ever heard her making a racist joke or put anybody down. and besides, she's a comedienne, they're supposed to make fun of ppl or situations humorously, not hatefully. as for the lawyer suing her, that is a little extreme, but to explain it away as, "oh, it wasn't that bad, there's an asian guy in the photo," isn't good enough. just because there was an asian guy in on the "joke" doesn't mean it should be taken lightly. black people aren't the only race with uncle toms. no, she's not exactly prussian blue, but the fact is, little girls idolize miley and there should be an example made to show, with any pop celebrity, that you can't get out of evrything with an "apology" after the fact, especially if you are just a "kid."

are white ppl really this ignorant? on a consistent basis, white ppl make a lot of racist/bigoted/prejudiced "jokes" and think by apologizing the day or so after, evrything is peachy keen. this is not the way things work. i personally don't give a fuck what you do or say in your private life, but if your dumb ass is stupid enough to take a goddamn PICTURE or video of you doing or saying something stupid, whatever happens, you got what you deserve. i've also seen white ppl excuse shit like this by saying, "oh, well black ppl say this and asian say that, so we sure be allowed..." no, take that immature shit to chimpout. the world is not "tit for tat," sometimes you have to turn the other cheek and there is no shame in that.

now, to other bullshit issues--

the chris brown and rhianna situation has been disturbing on so many levels, but the main one is this: i've been seeing a lot of men who think it's ok to swing on a chick if she starts it. many have justified this by saying that if women want to be equal, they should learn to take a punch.

... oh for real, for real?

women should be equal to men socially and financially, but we'll never be equal physically because men, through evolution, are the stronger sex and they, of course, cannot conceive children. #although i do believe most of them PMS and are more emotional than women are supposed to be# the day they start to, they can hit women. women who do hit men are childish and also, most men today are still children and live by that "you hit me, i hit you back" policy. if a woman hits you, take it like a man and get her out of your life. do not try to go blow for blow with a woman. a woman who hits a man is foolish and the man who fights back is a fucking fool.

b. scott talked about it and he had good points, but him being so pro-rhianna makes it a bit biased to me.

the situation reminds me of the routine dave chappelle did about how men and women think differently. he talks about the frustration of women wearing a "prostitute's uniform" and then don't want to be treated like prostitutes. i love dave chappelle and always will, but i couldn't believe a man as savvy as he would say some misogynistic bullshit like that. first of all, if you've ever watched an episode of cops, you know that REAL street prostitutes wear baggy, raggedly sweats. the only ones who look like "prostitutes" are trannies. secondly, ok, a woman wears something a little provocative, does that automatically mean she's a slut? and even if she were one, that doesn't mean she wants to "sleep" with you. this is the same reason why a lot of women who are raped blame themselves. there is NO justification for that. and why would you want to fuck a slut anyway? thirdly, why do you assume she's dressing that way for YOU. sometimes, women just want to dress that way. i don't particularly agree with some of the extremes taken, but i understand. sometimes i do my hair and put on gloss or red lipstick. no reason, just feel like it.

are men really this disgusting? do they honestly think it's ok to hit a woman if she hits you first? it's ok to sexually harass a woman and then either insult her for being a "tease" or take it upon yourself to make her play her part? men just do not understand the frustration of being a woman, nor do they care. most of them don't even want to know anything our sexual health, but they do want to use our sex. how can you fully appreciate something and use it correctly if you don't read the instructions and educate yourself as to how it is to be used. ppl have gotten sex muthafvcking twisted: it's not just a fun way to pass the time. the main purpose of sex is procreation and the main purpose of breasts is to breastfeed. so, there are no "mistakes" when it comes to conceiving, if anything it's mission accomplished. that's why you should think twice before you fvck a slut, at least.

men really need to think from a woman's perspective for a bit. women have to worry about pregnancy, STDs, and also the social stigma of being sexually active. men are encouraged to "sow their oats," but women are taught that they should be virtuous, but then when a chick is sexually savvy, she's a dirty slut and a filthy whore.

some days i feel tragic like i was lady macbeth; i wanna be unsexed, too. it's too much.

Ugly Americans

i really don't believe the comments on this. is youtube being invaded by chimpout? i swear, if you're going to claim superiority, please learn how to spell and use grammar; otherwise i can't take you seriously. truly amazed that rednecks have internet access.

so "change" hasn't happened instantaneously, that makes obama like hitler? his middle name is hussein, named years before saddam came into power, he's the anti-christ?

white christians american "patriots" are so oppressed, aren't they? poor them -- their beloved country is being corrupted.

must be a wonderful life to have so much ugly hate in your heart.












by the way, i really like metropolis, hitler liked it, too. does that makes me a nazi?

sxephil - he's not sexy, he's sxe

Just some things about this video:

1. I really don't think guys want big tits. They SAY they do, but I think they're being phased out by the ass. Bad news for me since I'm stacked up top, but lacking in my packing. I never got that anyway, why does it matter how big or small a woman's breasts and butt are? The way it's going, the girl doesn't need to be there, and not for that long anyway. And, if big tits were really all that great, Pam Anderson wouldn't have had all the trouble she's had. That goes for any other of those fantasy girls too. Those women are fantasies to men, but then when they want to take them home, they realize that they're just as ordinary as any other girl and then they have problems. Most men claim to be the smarter sex, because they think with logic and not emotion, but they're just as bad as women when it comes to that fantasy crap.
2. Do ppl still drink 40's anymore, honestly? That just pissed me off to no end. I commented about that and then somebody came up behind me and was like, "poor ppl drink 40's" and that maybe so, but is 50 Cent poor? No, I don't think so. Ppl really need to upgrade their stereotypes, y'know, if they're going to use them. It's 2009 and y'all stuck in 1992, trick-ass marks.
3. I also commented on the story about the "wronged" black firefighters. I don't think a test can be racist, but the ppl who make the test MIGHT BE. Even so, why make excuses? Y'know, evrytime I make an excuse, my mother always says, "Oh, you got more excuses than a black man on death row," and as horrible as that sounds, black ppl do make a LOT of excuses. I don't understand it; after slavery, black ppl spent a good 100+ years proving that we could do evry thing the white man did, if not better. Black ppl wanted to learn, slaves died trying to read, and now we take all of that for granted. I write and read without even thinking about it, I can't even begin to fathom not knowing how to do it and being told I'd be lynched for even trying. I tell ppl I like to write and read and they think I'm "lame" or a "dork" or whatever. Well, I rather be that than stupid. Yeah, I still might do some foolish things, but I ain't no fool. Now these firefighters don't want to take a test to get ahead? How the fuck did they even make it this far? Didn't they go to school? Would it kill them to study, to work for and earn what they want? This country judges ppl unfairly and holds hundred things against you before you can do just one thing, you constantly have to prove yourself, especially if you're black. That's just the way it is. Things aren't going to change in "our" favor just because we have a "black" president; he had to work for evrything he has, you do too. Get used to it. America is very racist, but that's not an acceptable reason to fail.
4. Then, there was this comment: "is it our fault if niggers and do good on tests, like really" OK, I think what he was trying to say was "is it our fault if niggers can't do good on tests, like really?" Well, I dunno if it's your fault since you couldn't even put together a cohesive sentence, but this "nigger" knows, it's "do well" not "do good," you dumbass redneck.
5. "Yes, it's a racist standard. MLK Jr. didn't want there to be schisms based on race pro or anti African-American. Saying "white pride" is just as racist as saying "black pride"." I disagree, black ppl need another black pride movement because America does not support diversity and anthing black is either demonized or exoticized or eroticized. Black ppl have been dehumanized ever since Africans were dragged over here and treated worse than cattle, if not before then. Black pride is not a hateful or violent thing, it shouldn't be, it's love for your people and love for yourself in a country that makes you feel unloved. From what I've seen, white pride is hateful and violent since there are white ppl out there who feel like "their" country is being taken from them, even though this land belongs to them as much as it belongs to black ppl, or hispanics, or asians, or any other kind of ppl. You cannot own something that does not belong to you.
6. "thats freaking retarded how this country thinks every white person is trash and racist, if any mass about of people are racist its the black people, they take advantage of the whole racist thing to get what they want and they say the n word to each other which is fucking stupid, everybody is equal and nobody should be called anything like that even if its to somebody that is your own skin color because some black people do that just because they know white people cant do it." Black ppl cannot be racist. I know it's hard for ppl to grasp, but we can't, it goes against the definition. Racism means you hold your race as superior to any other and use that to oppress ppl. Now, I've never heard of black ppl oppressing white ppl or any other kind of people any kind of way. Can black ppl be bigoted? Paranoid? Mistrustful of white ppl? Angry? Hurt? You betcha. But how can you blame them? Some white ppl like to shout out that slavery's over and black ppl need to get over it. Yeah, slavery's over, but racism is not. This is the reason why "black" history needs to be taught in line with "American" history. That right there is racist, how "black" history isn't thought of as "American." How can you ignore millions of ppl and their voices and all of their contributions? Some black ppl play the race card, but I can't think if a time when it's been successful. It is stupid how black ppl took the taunts of their tormentors and use it against each other, but you must understand psychology and understand the amount of damage slavery/racism has afflicted itself onto black ppl. It's like when someone gets raped and they're expected to get over it. It's not something you get over, all you can do with take some time and make peace and live with it. Can you make peace with racism? I don't think you should.

And I like Phil DeFranco, even though I unsubscribed and then re-subscribed, but I think a lot of his viewers misconstrue his videos because the most racist, misogynistic assholes comment on them and I don't think that's what he stands for. I like him actually, even though he does come off a bit unlikable sometimes. He's adorable most of the time, especially when he wears glasses. At least he brings up a lot of discussions, which is good. I miss his old theme song, though.

URGENT PSA#2

Guys, please STOP sagging. It's gross. It's not a good look.

Sagging started in prison when they took away the belts from prisoners so they wouldn't commit suicide AND so that the prison-bitches can catch a prison-daddy.

STOP IT. YOU ARE NOT IN PRISON ANYMORE, DAMON.

The weird part is, I've never seen a gay man sag, it's the so-called straight dudes I see doing it. Why in the hell would you want to emulate some clown with their pants UNDER their ass? This same person clearly has a pattern of not making the right decisions since they ended up in PRISON in the first place.

I've been looked at strange for saying this, but whenever I see a guy sagging, I want to run up behind him, bend him over the nearest surface, yank his pants down, and give him one big hump against the rump. The lower they sag, the harder they get it. I mean, that might be how they like it. What am I supposed to think when you walk around with your ass out and puffed up? That might sound like some kind of rapist's justification, but I'm sorry. I'm trying to deter this with some operant conditioning. Every time you sag, you get a hard hump on the rump.

Even sadder, sicker part is, most of these guys are more than likely homophobic. So, what's really good?

They have passed ordinances in some places, but for some strange reason, some civil rights activists are considering this to be racially wrong. WHAT. So you want young black men to walk around looking ridiculous? This is not limited to just this demographic, it's just more prominent in our community and how anybody could object to stopping this makes my head hurt. Would it kill young men to dress nice? All they have to do is pull up their GODDAMN pants!

Celebrity skin ain't that thick

I watch people, it's kind of a thing I've been doing for years. They're very fascinating. It might seem weird to say it like that, but people are unpredictably predictable. So, of course I love to read other people's blogs. Instead of me wondering what someone's thinking, all I have to do is read their thoughts, via their blog. However, most of those blogs, with people writing about their shitty ass day, not my cup of tea. But, most of the time, I do come across some very interesting blogs.

Few weeks ago, I came across a blog, The Beautiful Kind. I should warn you, this blog has some pretty far-out there sexual proclivities that the faint of heart might not be able to take. Like, for real, you don't have to go through that many posts to see what I mean. When I started reading it, I thought it was a gay guy at first, but then found it was a woman, which disappointed me somewhat.

I dunno, I usually don't like to hear about women talking about their outrageous sex lives #or really anyone, for that matter# but I find that I can tolerate it more if I hear it from a gay man. I dunno, I'm weird that way. I have no problem with a woman asserting her strong sexuality, but usually it's being used to cover up some kind of dark, hidden painful, trauma. It goes for men, too, but women especially. Sex becomes some kind of salve to forget about their problems; it's no different to them than heroin to a junkie or the knife to the cutter.

But, I continued to read on, becoming more engrossed and grossed out. No matter how disgusted I was by whatever she wrote, I couldn't stop reading; I was so morbidly interested. I read her ABOUT ME section and she said she was an atheist, some kind of disillusioned Catholic. Out loud, I actually said "Ah, makes sense," to myself.

There'll be more on that later, but as I was interested in her blog, I continued to comb through her older entries and then I got to this post: 6 Reasons Why The News Of Heath Ledger's Death Should Not Upset You. Ironically, this is the post that turned me completely off of her blog. All of the kinky, nasty, dirty, freaky stuff I could stomach, but this is TOO disgusting.

These "reasons" are so fucking trivial:

"1. You didn't know him." - Kind of a good reason, hard to argue against, but it's a cop-out. As human beings, do we not have humanity, empathy? He was somebody's son, father, friend, brother, lover, cousin, nephew, whatever, whatever. Can you not imagine what that would feel like? To not only lose someone you care about, but having it broadcast all over the news?

"2. He was the blonde guy in Brokeback Mountain, not Jake." - That somehow lowers the value on his life? Seriously?

"3. He was Australian, and those guys have a psycho death wish. They LIKE dying." - Let's assume this is true. If he, indeed, did have a "psycho death wish," wouldn't he have chosen a grander way of kicking the bucket than OD'ing on sleep medication?

"4. He was going to star in ANOTHER fucking Batman movie later this year. Yawn. And hey he was supposed to be the Joker - they’ll just need to slap white paint on some other actor." - It's not that simple, and it gives me a headache trying to wrap my mind around this one. Acting is not as easy as people think it is. If it was, movies wouldn't be as shitty as they are now. And can you be replaced at your job just as easily? If so, you must not be doing something right.

"5. He overdosed on drugs BEFORE his scheduled massage - very poor planning on his part." - This would make sense if people were sad over the fact that he missed his massage, but I think the bigger issue was that he died. He missed an appointment because he died, so we should all go piss on his grave?

"6. He had at least one bad tattoo." - Wow, then I guess he deserves to burn in hell.

I wanted to believe this wasn't serious #y'know, since it's so fucking ridiculous# but I'm pretty sure she was. I could see if she gave some legitimate reasons, but most of these are nit-picking, pitiful excuses not to care about somebody. But then, there are comments, too:

"Believe me, I would be MUCH more sympathetic if he met his end, say, by a sting ray barb through his heart, than overdosing on DRUGS in his NYC pad, with his HOUSEKEEPER finding him cuz she was letting him know his MASSEUSE was there.
<- I don't understand what the difference is, both are unfortunate accidents. What's so wrong with taking sleeping medications and wanting a massage? People deal with stress differently; that was his way. I could see if some Lolita hooker or rentboy found him when she or he was scheduled to give him his blowjob or he was found dead while beating off to snuff films. THEN, it lesses the sting, but all he did was take some pills and unfortunately, he over did it and "picked" a shitty time to die. I'm sure the masseuse was all pissed off about not getting paid for her services. Jimi Hendrix took sleeping pills and drowned in his own vomit, does that negate his talent and the feelings of all those who miss him?

"Does the world really need another Batman movie? Apparently, God doesn’t think so. Yes, the Lord works in mysterious ways…"
<- SERIOUSLY? A daughter will never know her father and all you can do is thank God there won't be another Batman movie? So, when you hear about a death in your family, are you one of those people who worry about what will be served at the banquet?

"He wasn’t that impressive an actor. Plus, he was in the worst movie ever made: “Monster’s Ball”. In which, he shot himself, interestingly enough. The only reason anyone’s mourning him is he was hunky. That’s what irks me, the shallowness of the mourners. You know who’s a great actor? Steve Buscemi. Would we bombarded by vague, yet emphatic mournings if he bought the farm? No."
<- I see his point somewhat, but to compare Heath Ledger to Steve Buscemi is not balanced. For one thing, age is a factor. Steve Buscemi is 50 years old; Ledger was 28. Fifty is young, but it isn't much of a shock when someone dies at that age as compared to someone who wasn't even in the prime of his life. For a better example, I would suggest some comtemporary actors similar to Heath. For instance, Brad Renfro was a talented actor, younger than Heath, who died a week before him and he didn't make the primetime news. Take also into consideration, if another good-looking somebody like Cillian Murphy had died that day instead of Ledger. Though he is acclaimed, the public wouldn't give a damn about him. All that being said, even comparing him to these actors fall short because he was Oscar nominated. It's not every day someone who was up for Best Actor punches his ticket out of here. Again, this sounds like an excuse not to care about somebody you don't like.

"EXACTLY, the tragedy for everyone is that he was good looking. People hate losing a hottie from their ranks."
<- Kind of a contradiction considering her second reason.

"...i agree, who really gives a fuck about some rich actor. i feel ya. i didn’t even know who the hell he was until he died…blah blah. BUT, i must admit, the new batman, that IS coming out is actually much different, its not so gotham and shit. I haven’t liked batman since the 90’s. But i saw the preview of this new one, which does contain heath ledger, but no he doesn’t wear all that crappy makeup like jack nicholson. totally different interpretation of the JOKER. I won’t give that credit to heath, though. only to the director..."
<- The Joker was based off of Heath's interpretation of the character. Most of the time, directors pick actors who they feel will take the role and expand on it. Good actors simply do not put on the role like a hat; they take the hat and make an outfit and shoes to match. So, not to sound harsh or anything, but you just don't know what you're talking about.

"(cont'd from previous)... So, i feel ya on the heath hate. but always be ready for something new, and this batman looks quite fun and evil. not comicbook land, like all the others.
just for the record, this new batman is the FIRST movie for the big screen actually filmed on 70mm film stock, to be viewed in IMAX. So it looks quite cinematic.
Always keep an open mind, or you may miss the magic moments."
<- Ironic.

Really, I'm not saying they're wrong, but I think these people just seem like they hate popular celebrities and are letting that affect their empathy. I have the same problem most of the time; generally reject what the majority likes, but they're making it seem as if he was Brad Pitt or George Clooney, some guy always in the tabloids or on Entertainment Tonight. Ledger was pretty much a quiet, private person, and I don't remember too much about him when he was alive. He didn't do obnoxious things for the attention, didn't seem that way.

There are so many celebrities I can't stand, but if one of them happened to die tomorrow, I wouldn't shrug it off with a "So what?" I might have not cared for them, but they were special to somebody. Can't you see that? It reminds me of how people laughed and pointed at Britney Spears' nervous breakdown and what Liz wrote about Amy Winehouse; celebrities are put on such a high pedestal and under some much intense scruntiny that we dehumanize them, treating them like they don't have feelings or insecurities.

Often enough though, we do this to people we see everyday, too. That's why whenever I feel myself getting pissed off with someone, I tell myself that they're someone's something special and that usually calms it. You can't go through life like Patrick Bateman. Patrick Bateman doesn't want to be Patrick Bateman.

Also, what I couldn't believe was how someone who's an atheist, with so many fetishes, could be so judgemental. How can you be so sexually open, yet you're close-minded? I have a friend who's kind of the same way and I don't get it.

But ultimately, atheists, as much as they try to shock people and be irreverent, they're no different from staunch, intolerant Christians, Nazis, and racist gays and "white is right" assholes. If you're so right, why do you do so much wrong? If you're so enlightened, why are you so intolerantly ignorant?

Shame is, they don't see it, the pointlessness of choosing a side and planting yourself in a corner, telling yourself you'll never leave no matter what. All they want is the attention, it seems. Look how vulgar/obscure/deep/creative/special/much of an individual I am.

I'm not trying to judge anyone; sorry if it seems like I am. I just want to understand.

All Men Are Apes!

Well, not really, but Jezebel made a list of 6 reasons why mustaches were not sexy, based off a post from Fey Friends. Now, this is ridiculously unfair. They picked the most extremely unattractive pictures to support their case. I happen to find mustaches very sexy and I think one of the most manly thing a guy could do is grow one. Of course, they'd need the face for it. So, may I present 6 reasons, in no particular order, why mustaches are sexy (by way of photos, of course):

1. Daniel #MY BOO# Plainview
I mean, look at him. What more needs to be said?

2. Giancarlo Giannini
Need I say more? Rather it was then or now, it doesn't matter.

THEN:

NOW:
3. Josh Brolin
I think he has the perfect face for a mustache. He just doesn't look right without one.


4. Robert Downey Jr.
He looks very nice clean, but it's something about how the softness of his eyes contrast with the scruffiness of his jaw that's just so nice.


5. Stanley Kubrick
When people talk about Mr. Kubrick, "sexy" is not a term that is often used, but there's something there, isn't there? The silent, strong, shy, strange type? Very sexy. Anyone who smiles that sweetly can't be all bad.

6. Burt Reynolds
You thought I forgot? How could he NOT be on the list?
Now, I could go on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, but I think I made my point.

Well, one more wouldn't hurt.

For the Comedians

"Heard joke once:

Man goes to Doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain.

Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.'

Man bursts into tears. Says. 'But Doctor...I am Pagliacci.'"

- Rorschach's Journal. Oct 16, 1985, (The Watchmen)

And I thought my jokes were bad...

I just want to state the obvious: RAPE is NOT funny. I might elaborate on this later, but really, it's not. Call me an uptight, bitch-dyke feminist, but under no circumstance do I find something like that amusing.

#and we call this a civilization#

Make Me Wanna Holler and Throw Up Both Hands

I know I wrote about that "typically black" mess and how it's bullshit, but I realized that black people are the main ones setting up that "typically black" mess in the first. I mean, isn't that about 95% of every black comedian's material? "Black people do that, white people do this"?

A lot of black people seem to be twisted up on the fact that some other black people "act white" or do "white things". For instance, some black bloggers got bent out of shape over Jay-Z and Lil Wayne playing guitars and trying to be "rock 'n roll". As I mentioned before, with artists such as Prince, Jimi Hendrix, Tina Turner, Wyclef Jean, Lenny Kravitz, and others, how can black musicians be pigeonholed into one or two categories of music? In this day and age, how can a black person be expected to just listen to one or two categories? I listen to absolutely EVERYTHING, (well, everything that doesn't suck), does that mean I'm not black?

Why is it when black men get some sense and clean up the way they dress, they are in turn called "suspect"? Well, maybe I'm in the minority here, but it seems a whole helluva lot more suspect to watch a grown man shuffle around with his pants hanging off his ass, emulating a trend that came from prison bitches. Why can't guys like Kanye West, Andre 3000, and Pharrell Williams wear the clothes they want and express themselves without the "these niggas faggin'" bullshit?

It's like, why do black people want to be held down by culture restrictions? All this "black people can't/don't do that" bullshit is very irritating and it's truly sad when people who look like you want to oppress you. We've come too far as a people to hold each other down.

There are different strokes for different folks and "different folks" does not mean "different colors of people" but "people in general".

SIDE NOTE: I really don't like the phrase "African American". It's so ignorantly politically correct. First of all, Africa is not a country, but a continent, so for someone to be "African American" would be like someone being "North American"; it just doesn't make sense. Second, I've never been to any part of Africa in my life, let alone be born there, so for me to be African-American doesn't make sense since I was born and raised in the United States of America and ergo, I am American. I understand that America is a huge melting pot and we want to acknowledge the different types of cultures without being offensive, but let's not be ridiculously ignorant. And most of the time, the acknowledgment feels like a label being put on people. When you feel out a job application, why do they need to know what you are before they set up the interview, anyway?

But I Wear Polos!

A year ago when I had a MySpace page, before Tom's bitch ass deleted it for no goddamn reason and didn't enough have the goddamn decency to tell me that he did, I would frequently browse through some pages, mostly of my "friends". I visited one of my "friend"'s and in the "About Me" box, either they started with the line or it was at least the second, with "I'm not a typical black person." and immediately, fury rose in me. "JUST WHAT IN THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?", was one of the things I remember thinking. "I'm not a typical black person," HUH? What does that statement mean? What or who is a typical black person?

Then, a few days ago, Liz was on YouTube watching a video for an artist named Santogold. She was scrolling through some of the comments and someone left one that said, "I like her, she's different from other Black female singers. Like the fact that she doesn't sing typical black music." Again, JUST WHAT IN THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?! With black artists like Nina Simone, Jimi Hendrix, Prince, Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Ray Charles, Bo Diddley, Andre 3000, Alicia Keyes, Erykah Badu, Gnarls Barkley (Cee-lo), Pharrell Williams, Kelis, Tina Turner, and numerous others, JUST WHAT IN THE FUCK IS "typical black music"?

Now, I'm sure the people who would say a thing like this don't mean to sound bigoted or racist against black people as a black person, but it's pure ignorance that they seem to embrace and revel in. You could just see them filling out job application and checking the box for "Black/African American" in the ethnicity section, then writing next to it, "not typically, i don't listen to rap or smoke weed and i'm not on welfare" or whatever stereotypically shit they think they're distancing themselves from. These are the same kinds of people who, if called NIGGER, would be more upset at a white man thinking they were one of those awful, awful "typical black people," rather then being offended at the slur itself and all the hate it stands for.

So who is the typical black person and why are you so quick to say they're not who you are? Who's a typical anybody anyway? What makes you so different/special anyway? Cuz you dress preppy, learned French, listen to "typically white music", go to Starbucks, and watch "typically white" TV shows? Well, like Kayne said, "even if you in a Benz, you still a nigga in a coupe" so you can be all haughty bourgeois if you want to distance yourself from those awful,awful, unclean, misbehaved, ghetto, heathen "typical black people" whoever they may be, but to somebody, you are just another nigger like the rest of us. I'm really sorry to be the one to pull your coat, but it's true and I don't care what your Uncle Ruckus and Aunt Sarah Jane tell you.

SO CUT ALL THIS BULLSHIT!

By the way, I've never heard a white person say, and I doubt one would in a million years, "Oh, but I'm not a typical white person..."

And I know black people aren't the only ones, plenty of other members from various ethic groups are toxic shamed, but we are who we are and though we may not fit exactly into where we're expected, we can't use that to separate us even further than we already are.

I want to put it all on Lynch, but he's been dead for almost 200 years. I guess he really knew what he was doing when he made that speech, cuz it ain't failed yet. Divide and Conquer usually never does.

What's Really Good? #2

Ok, so as I’ve stated previously, I am a filmmaker. Because I am an upcoming filmmaker, I felt it would be a great idea to meet and associate other up and coming filmmakers. After all, isn’t that what is suggested in any field you want to go into? Find someone who does what you want to do and get in touch? Anyway, I found this guy a while ago and seeing as he is also a young black filmmaker from Detroit; I thought it might be in good interest to contact him, not for advice or anything, just to hear his experiences and just talk to each other as colleagues.

So, earlier this week, I sent out a note on facebook telling all of my “friends” that my movie was going to premiere and if they were interested, they could come see it. From there is when we really started to talk and only a few minutes in did I realize what a horrible mistake it was to ever contact him.

He asked me if I wanted to be a director when “I grew up” and if I knew that’s what he did. First of all, I’m 19; I’m as grown as I’m ever going to get, don’t patronize me. Secondly, that was the only reason I asked to be his friend, him being a director. Maybe he thought I was on some groupie shit or something, I dunno. He asked me if I was going to school for it and thinking he too went to Wayne State, like I do, I made mention of the intro class and one of the professors. I had made this assumption because in some of his videos, I had recognized some Wayne State landmarks and it never occurred to me that anyone who didn’t go to Wayne State would come here to film a movie, especially since one of them is centered around a gung-ho security guard.

After he had straightened me out on where he did go, I casually began to talk about how when I was in production, I asked over 100 people if they were interested in being in my film and out of the 20 who said they were, only six showed up. At this point was when I felt the hostility started. He then began to talk to me as if I was stupid and I felt as if he was steamrolling over me whenever I said something. He went into how he spent 2,000$ setting up a showcase of his films at a theater, asked 7,000 people to attend and only 30 came. He said he scoffed at my disappointment.

He then went into how he got out of Detroit because it’s a “crabs in a barrel” city that he had to leave because unless you’re shooting something major, you’re just “a nigga with a camera” and that he puts his faith in “women and white boys” to show up in his movies while it was just the opposite for me: I asked damn near EVERYBODY I knew and only five black guys came.

Anyway, deeper into conversation, he started telling me how hard it would be for me to be a successful filmmaker, since I am a black female, AS IF I didn’t already know. (And apparently, he’s never heard of Kasi Lemmons, Gina Prince-Bythewood, Maya Angelou, Euzhan Palcy, Debbie Allen, Neema Barnette, Troy Breyer, and of course, many more) He was saying I could never bomb and all this other pessimistic truth. I agreed with him by saying, “yeah, it’s not very encouraging”, referring of course, to the way things are, but then he must have misconstrued what I said because he replied with something like, “this isn’t supposed to be encouraging”, like, I ever asked for HIS encouragement.

Deeper still in conversation, I told him how my intro instructor was a woman, but the best one to take was this other lady. This is when he told me that I had to learn filmmaking from a white man. That’s so much bullshit; I don’t even know where to start. He told me that when someone said that to him, it offended him too, but it must not have offended him that much to the point where he took their advice and then turned around and repeated it as if it were the gospel truth. Just because white men are usually the ones who get the most opportunities to make the films they want doesn’t make them the end-all authority on the subject of filmmaking. He told me that I should “stop trying to fight the power,” spoken like a true King Crab Tom.

The only way to change things is to fight, revolution is evolution.

He went on to say that women were good at the small aspects of production, like costume design and script supervisor, but weren’t the ones to see about “behind the camera work.” Again, apparently he never heard of Dorothy Arzner, Jane Campion, Asia Argento, Virginie Despentes, Sofia Coppola, Alice Guy, Agnès Varda, Julie Taymor, and of course, a whole score of others.

He also never seemed to know that major studios used to only hire women to be their editors, as editing was seen as women’s work since you had to weave and piece together the film, like sewing. Editing is, arguably, the most important part of filmmaking, perhaps second to directing. Women edited Jaws, American Graffiti, Paper Moon, Bonnie and Clyde, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, a woman edits every single one of Quentin Tarantino’s films!

He would also tell me that racist cliché of “Jews run Hollywood”, a page taken straight out of the gospel according to Mel “sugartits / sonuvanazi” Gibson. Now, although there is truth to this, I don’t think this is an important thing to bring up since Jews do not implement their religion or lifestyle into anything Hollywood produced and it’s hard to actually find creditable evidence of this without something reading like propaganda commissioned by Goebbels.

SIDE NOTE: Jews also came up Superman, The Hulk, the X-Men, Iron Man, and Spider-Man.

This led to a brief discussion about Megan Fox, an “actress” I neither find attractive, (to me, she bears an uncanny resemblance to Nic Cage) or a decent thespian. He defended her beauty, but not my point that her acting was weak. He called me a “hater”. Well, if wanted a so-called “actress” to do her damn job and be more than some pretty plaything, then I’m a hater. But from a directing standpoint, if you can’t do a damn thing for me, I can’t do a damn thing for you. He must be the same kind of person who would go on and on over how beautiful Halle Berry is and then tack on at the last instance, “oh yeah, she’s a good actress, too,” but that’s another story.

So, cut to when I was finally able to put my film on facebook and youtube. All of the people who saw it gave me positive feedback, even my mother, who I honestly didn’t expect to dig it so much. Then he sees it and gives me some comments / issues he had, that I never asked for, by the way. And first of all, he, for some reason, had a hard time finding my video on my facebook page, which is strange because all of the people who did see it before him, never expressed their difficulty in finding it. He made mention of this on the note I used to tag everyone so they could see it and I said, “there’s always one person…” (meaning there’s always that one who is difficult. Y'know, like the kid who can never open his milk carton by himself or tie his own laces. It seemed to me as if I was wasting his time, but I’m not apologizing for that) and he came back with, “who wants to help you?” HMM!

Mostly, it was little things, like, “why does the first professor look like he’s twenty?”, “lol @ 'But We're Married On FaceBook!'. And all that stuff that the 2nd teacher was talking about sounded MAD confusing. Was it real information?”, “The main actress has REALLY BIG breast though! MMmmmmm.” (apparently, my poor sister only has one huge tit and of course he would only be concerned with her physical appearance), and “I LOVED THE ENDING!!”, but then, he also got on how I cut the scene between Seth and Dolores, how the classroom scene goes on for “too long", and how I chose to get rid of the audio for some scenes. I would later go and explain and answer all that he raised in the most polite way possible, even though his suggestion that “If you wanted the shot @ 1:14 to last a long time, speed it up by showing a clock moving forward really fast” sounds so laughable bad and corny that I cringed, and I thanked him for his comments, though I didn’t ask for them, didn’t need them.

He then came back saying that the things he said about my cutting/editing, long shots, and no audio were not questions or concerns, but “FACTUAL ERRORS.” These things were all style choices that I made and when I responded with, “I thought the director could make the film they wanted,” he came back with basically “no style can excuse bad filmmaking.”

Oh, for real?

I wrote out a response to him, but decided against sending it because if it’s one thing I learned it’s never argue with a fool, especially a Tom.

Now, wait, let’s go back. First of all, there is no such thing as FACTUAL ERRORS in filmmaking, it’s not a science, it’s an art. A filmmaker can do no wrong when it comes to their art. Someone can show you how to use a camera, but whatever you do with it is all up to you and I’m sorry your white man never taught you that.

Where is it written that cuts or edits have to be a certain way, that a scene should hold for ‘x’ amount of time, or that there such be music/audio in every shot? I don’t think it’s written anywhere and if it is, it’s not a law, and if it is, I don’t have to follow it.

I don’t say this a lot, I try not to, but NIGGA, PLEASE!

I’m the filmmaker, I can do whatever the fuck I want with MY art.

You want to work with things that are set in rules, go into engineering, calculus, or even journalism, (which, have also experienced there own rule breakers), you should probably get out of filmmaking because nobody follows “the rules”. Unless you’re my producer or studio and you’re paying me for a job, you have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do.

If I wanted, I could walk on the warpath and totally tear his work to pieces, but as an artist, I have no right. Who am I to say that his artistic view is wrong just because I disagree?

The thing that really burns my grits is how absolute he said that my style is bad filmmaking, like he’s the GOD of cinema. Why? Just because I felt the scene needed to draaaaaaaaaaag and that I thought no sound was a much better touch than Skittles rattling around in the bag or the annoying hum of an air conditioner and I didn't want to slather music all around it to fill the void?

So, was it also bad filmmaking when Martin Scorsese opted to use black and white in Raging Bull when color had been around since the 30’s or filmed his fight scenes in slow motion when regular or faster motion might have been better choices, all in the sake of style? Was it bad filmmaking when Jean-Luc Godard broke the rules of classical Hollywood cinema with the way he edited Breathless?

Film is an art, saying there are rules is like saying a painter is limited to a certain kind of paint and brush, singers have to sing in this note, actors have to act like this and this way only, sculptors can only use this clay, authors have to write novels and poems like this or like that, but not both.

You sound like a fool and ultimately, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

You have your ways and I have mine and neither is incorrect, in contrast, to whatever you think or whatever the white man taught you.

Now, I don’t want to be called racist or make it seem as if I’m discrediting the accomplishments of white directors. I’ve learned from the white man as well: Quentin Tarantino taught me that I can have ridiculously long takes of dialogue that may bore the audience (see Death Proof), or that if I so choose, I can mutilate or kill someone to some obscure happy pop song (see Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, Death Proof). Martin Scorsese taught me that I can freeze frame my shots and put character’s narration over it (see Goodfellas, Casino)and that I can use super slow motion (see Casino, The Departed, and Raging Bull) and use fast jump cuts when I edit (Goodfellas, Casino). Wes Anderson says I can use an entire soundtrack of David Bowie songs performed by a Brazilian artist to narrate my film (Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou) and that I can have someone commit suicide in a highly glamorized way or have a too long scene of someone getting off a bus (Royal Tenenbaums). Jonathan Demme showed me that I can show extreme close-ups of people talking or listening (see Silence of the Lambs, Philadelphia).

But, I also learn from the black man: Spike Lee showed me I can have people float down the street and preach throughout an entire three hour feature film (just about any Spike Lee Joint), black brothers: The Hughes Brothers taught me that I can make a movie about urban crime (Dead Presidents, Menace II Society) and then make a movie about Victorian crime (From Hell), the asian: Wong Kar-wai showed me that I can be very visual and stylized, even if it draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaags the story out (Happy Together, Days of Being Wild, 2064, Chungking Express, In the Mood for Love), the Jew: Steven Spielberg (the mightiest Jew in all of Hollywood) proved that you can make an excellent film with an all black cast that will get you nominated for eleven Oscars, but not only will you not win a single one, not everyone will be pleased with the film (The Color Purple), the Frenchman: Luc Besson taught me that I can be diverse and I shouldn't want to be labeled (view his entire body of work), the Frenchwoman: Viriginie Despentes taught me that I don’t have to be afraid to be graphic (Baise-Moi), the Italian: Dario Argento showed me that I can glamorized my horror (any one of his films) and if I want, exploit a close family member by showing her naked or being raped (Trauma, Stendhal Syndrome, Phantom of the Opera, all with daughter Asia).

Who are you anyway to say my techniques are “bad filmmaking” just because they go against your school of teaching? It reminds me very much of what Liz said about English teachers (or at least, Hollywood Shuffle).

My shots were in focus, no booms in the shot, acting was more than decent, my lighting was pretty good, my sound was pretty damn good. I spent a week, every day, five hours at a time editing this. For my first ever film, I think I did a better than decent job.

Do I have more to learn, sure, but please don’t come at me like I don’t know what I’m doing.

I don’t do this film thing because someone told me this is the way it is supposed to be or I must do this exactly like this, I do this with my heart and if that’s not good enough for you, I won’t even have the decency to apologize.

I was raised by two stubborn people who told me that there was nothing I couldn’t do so you can’t tell me nothing.

And if I am a perpetrator of “bad filmmaking”, so what? Uwe Boll is NOTORIOUS for his awful movies, but yet, bold as sin, he defends his films and has an audience, as evident by the producers who continue to fund his projects. And also, I appear to have an audience since the feedback I’ve gotten has been overwhelmingly positive. So, irregardless of his nitpicking of my so-called FACTUAL ERRORS, I, and my audience, like it. He could bring an entire army of white male filmmakers to shout me down to say I’m wrong, but I’m standing firm.

Do what you do and I’ll do what I want. Though I disagree with his style choices, I would never critique him and write it off as bad filmmaking.

OH, and he also picked issue with the fact that in IM conversations when I misspell a word I correct it with a plus (+) and not an asterisk (*). He obviously has a pattern, do it his way or it's wrong.

Funny how, when you’re not trying to please people, they think you are and complain like you care. And he might say he's just honest and I’m making something out of nothing and he’s just trying to help me, but it’s help I never asked for. There are two sides to every story and neither is incorrect.

All I can do is let a Tom be a Tom and let my art be mine.

And if you want to avoid bad filmmaking, never watch movies by Ralph Bakshi, the Coen Brothers, David Lynch, David Cronenberg, Gregg Araki...you know what, you're probably better off not watching movies at all.

I Feel For You

What's Really Good?

So, I’m a film student and currently taking the required intro production class for my major. Let me give you a little background of my production class: there are 14 people in it: ten white students, four black, with nine guys and five girls. Given these ratios, you can see how it’s a little intimidating and may feel excluding.

There are four major projects for this class: montage, continuity, audio, and the final, which can be any kind of project we want. Currently, we’re done with montage, finishing up continuity, and now starting audio. The montage project was done the second day of class so there wasn’t a lot of planning/thought thrown into it. For continuity, however, we were given a scenario for a short sequence and needed to put together a pre-production folder with storyboards, a shot list, a shot sequence list, and a lot of other kinds of lists in order to shoot it. Basically, this required a lot of time and thought. Since we would be working in groups, our instructor (a young woman who was a TA for one of my classes this winter) told us that the director would be the person with the most storyboards. Being the director/overachiever I am in my head, I ended up doing 45 shots on my storyboard and lemme tell you, it took some time and thought.

I usually try not to build myself up too much over things I want to happen so when they don’t I won’t be too upset, but I really wanted to be the director of this project. I felt that I needed to gain more experience filming “professionally.” However, in spite of my 45 shots, another member of my group (me and four white guys) was made director even though he only had 41 shots. I was very shocked and a little upset.

I had so many because as I said, I really wanted to be director, but even with my 45, I was sure someone else had more. To have someone else chosen over me when he did less troubled me. I was left to wonder what had happened to influence her in that decision. Was mine too complicated? Was my camera diagram too convoluted? Did I do something wrong on one of my lists? But the guy she picked hadn’t even had his shot lists typed out. So what the hell happened?

I didn’t think race had anything to do with it, I’m pretty sure the instructor isn’t like that. Ultimately I reasoned that her decision was made in my best interest. I am a black woman working in a group of white men; maybe she felt they wouldn’t comply with my authority as director. And as much as I appreciate her considering this, if this is what she considered, I’m 19; I’m a grown woman and can handle myself. I am a quiet person and perhaps a little timid when it comes to talking to people I don’t know, but to be a director, you have to be a leader and a leader doesn’t necessarily mean being a ball-busting bitch. You can command attention and be authoritative with calm force.

I would later find out from one of my friends from production who had worked with the guy she picked, that that guy was kind of like “white trash”, (according to her, at least,) so maybe the decision was made to ensure there wouldn’t be any problems. Either the case, I was miffed, but I accepted her decision.

Cut to when we had to go shoot. Three of the guys, it was decided that they would be our actors, with the chosen guy as director, of course, then I was left to be the slate girl (as I had been for the montage project, in a group with two white men) and also left to note the production logs. The slate is something of an important tool when filming since it helps in editing. When you film, it will usually be out of sequence, so you put the slate with the shot number in front of the camera, begin filming, then snatch it out of frame when the director calls for action.

However, our director didn’t want to use a slate, (but he let me anyway, though I was getting the feeling midway through that he may have been recording after I moved the slate) or even the tripod. He shot scenes in such a rushed, “let’s get this shit done” way, not taking it seriously at all, saying how stupid it was. His shooting was very strange; he never got too close to the action, just from different angles (or rather corners of the room) and zoomed in. One of the guys asked then, why did he do so many storyboards. Apparently, he had BLOWN SOME TREES and went crazy on the storyboarding. While shooting, I don’t even think he followed his shot list. Also, the guys were talking and it came up that not one of them had passed the camera test, which is something you need to pass to check out equipment to shoot your final. I was the only one who passed in the group, one of the two who passed in the entire class.

We were given two hours to shoot, but with him, we were “done” in one. Since we had time, we watched our footage. Sure enough, watching the tape, I saw that for many shots, he did shoot over the slate, which led to some confusion when we had to capture clips from the tape onto the computer. #duh-duh, dummy#

The next day, I was helping the friend who had worked with him before, telling her how shoddy his work ethic and quality and how poorly composed his scenes were and how I felt gravely cheated since I was a little more qualified to be director. I passed the camera test, I had the most shots on my storyboard, and I would have taken this project seriously enough to not half-ass my way through. She went on to tell me that the instructor may have picked him since he was “always in her face,” he told her once that she was hot and smart. This led me to re-evaluate my original assessment of the instructor. Had she really sold me out because some guy told her she was hot and smart?

She didn’t strike me as the type of women to do that, but flattery does go a long way with most women, especially since she and he are probably very close in age. She strikes me as a smart, sophisticated woman, but she could be the kind of smart, sophisticated woman to get off on being called hot by some kind of rebellious stoner. Might be something like a fantasy for her. I don’t know, but again I was troubled.

Last Friday was the last day to capture/edit in class. Our director had to leave, so we were capturing without him when we noticed that in many scenes, the tripod, that he decided not to use, was left in the background. Since our project is based on continuity, this is kind of a bad thing, but we decided a way to work around this. Still, he fucked it up. Though we could all take some blame, as director, he was the one responsible for scene composition and the only one to look through the viewfinder, so he should have seen the tripod there, but since he didn’t really give a shit about the quality of his shots, I highly doubt it would matter much to him. He also had a shot of the top of my head in the frame. Why not tell me to move or do a reshoot?

About the tripod, he later apologized to me personally and I told him it was not really a big deal, since it was consistent, but it does burn my grits. I hate it when people don’t follow the rules, thinking their way is right, only to fuck it up. Fuck yourself up, not your group members. At least we got to edit our own cuts by ourselves.

As the project is in the can now, I would wonder if maybe I blew this incident out of proportion, maybe it’s my “black girl paranoia” flaring up, but I cannot understand how someone would ever make the conscious decision to pick someone with no work ethic over someone who values one.

It kicks into my fear of people openly accepting mediocrity as the new standard. My production friend would also tell me that the director of her group put little effort into his storyboards. Ergo, my instructor must be a “fuck effort” person. I wasn’t raised that way. Anything with your name on it deserves some pride put into it or what’s the point of doing it?

All the groups had white male directors, what the fuck is that about anyway? I can’t speak for the other group’s members, but I know the effort I put forth. The film industry is very racist and sexist; was this supposed to serve as some kind of foreshadowing to how my career will be? Some under-qualified white male director behind the camera while competently qualified me is stuck being slate girl?

It’s great that “minorities” are making grand advances in mathematics and science and medicine, it really is, but there should be a larger number representing in media because that is how we communicate. People go to the hospital only when they need to, but we watch tv every night and go to the movies on the weekends.

Think of all of the ignorance and frustration that could be eliminated if people of color would/could express themselves. And when I say “people”, I mean a variety of persons of color since one person from one race cannot represent everyone of their race. Same thing with gender. When only one person does represent one race or gender role, we usually call this a stereotype. The only reason writers use stereotypes is because it’s much easier to use an image or role everyone knows of rather than actually delve deep enough to develop a character of substance. Basically most writers, usually white in their early 30’s, are LAZY.

Bullshit on that bullshit. I won’t be denied or discouraged. Maybe I’ll never be as recognized as Spielberg or Scorsese, but as a black female, it is of the utmost importance that I try to mark my place in media and let my perspective be seen.

My mission is difficult, but it will be accomplished.

#miles to go before I sleep, miles to go before I sleep#

Et tu, B. Scott?

I am completely shocked by this. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO MY B. SCOTT?! I starting watching his videos because he's funny and smart, very wise, but lately, he's been doing stuff like this! Little tidbits of videos showing him to be like some vapid cliché of a gay man. He's better than this! I know he's becoming a little more well known or whatever, but GODDAMN, why is when someone starts to get some recognition, they begin to lose the spark that made them so well liked in the first place? Tuesday, I talked about how Chris Crocker was reveling in his sell-out and B.Scott does have his merchandise, so et tu, B.?

Now, let's talk about some things in this video:

1. He starts off talking about his hair. OK, yes, it does look nice, but why all this vanity? Thinking better of it, he's done some other videos completely dedicated to how nice his hair looks, but this is kinda awkward, especially since he doesn't take off his shades.
   
2. He's basically talking about how he "fell in love" with a stripper and isn't sure if he could have a relationship with one. Now, firstly, I think it's impossible to fall in love with a stripper if your "love at first sight" is you looking at how good they can twirl a pole or work their hips. That's not love, that's lust. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. Love is need, lust is want. I don't think anyone has ever looked at a stripper and thought, "Gee whiz, I'd really love to take her/him out to the movies or maybe a nice dinner and a walk on the beach." Men do not think that with titties/ass/crotch swinging in their face. Love/dating is the furtherest thing, I'm sure. #but if there's evident to the contrary, please share#. Also, why did he make mention of the stripper being multiracial? He said it in that way, which implies that of course he looks good, he's multiracial. I just think it's weird when people shout out a person's color like it's the cincher that proves their beauty. How can America come to recognize that everyone's the same underneath if we keep making color such a big thing? Secondly, why couldn't you have a meaningful relationship with a stripper? What they do as an occupation shouldn't interfere with if you like them AS A PERSON AND NOT A PIECE OF HOTNESS. I mean, if they tell you and you know, what's the problem? And the saying goes, "YOU CAN'T TURN A HO INTO A HOUSEWIFE," well, maybe not a "ho," but just because someone takes their clothes off and dances for YOUR entertainment doesn't make them a ho; it makes them a performer. Now, if you're going out when them and they're dipping around with a whole bunch of other dudes or girls, playing you wrong, then yeah, they're a ho, but a man or woman that makes their bread by grinding to the beat is NOT a "ho". And unfortunately, that's just one of the things that has been trashed around throughout our culture. Stripping is not the worst job anyone could have; if strippers like to do it, what's your problem? Why does it bother you so much?
3. He mentions a video he put up the other day. The other day, he did put up a video when he was talking about how "it's not your battle, it's the Lord's," but for some reason, he took it down when he put this one up. Strange. But this suggests to me something of a classic Christian hypocrisy. I don't mean to come off sacrilegious, because I do believe in God and respect all faiths, but for most people, Christian and hypocrite should be used interchangeably. Isn't Christianity (or really any religion) concerned with principles like, judge not, lest ye be judged and how we should all love our neighbor? A true Christian, or someone who calls them self a Christian, (or really anyone who isn't an asshole), should recognize that we, regardless of what we've done or will do, are all God's children, (or ordinary, decent people for the atheist/agnostic crowd) and deserve to be loved and respected. He's acknowledged that he is not perfect, nor is anyone, but for a Christian to not recognize this is just sad. It's like, people who go to church Sunday morning were the main ones out all night Saturday. Maybe that's why people don't like religion, most people don't learn anything.
   

Now, I know that maybe I'm criticizing this too harshly or being a little too unfair, but with him being a gay man and all the videos he's done on how we need to accept and love people for who they are, this confuses and saddens me. I want my old B. Scott back! What is happening on YouTube? Do I have to watch a shitty M. Night Shyamalan movie to find out?

UPDATE! HE JUST POSTED THIS:

#oh, make me wanna holler, throw up both hands#